Self-Sabotage
You have a great idea that you would love to come to see come to fruition. You map out all objectives, and you weigh out all the pros and cons before you put the genius plan into action. To you, your plan checks out as bulletproof. However, at the height of your endorphins causing excitement, you begin to doubt your capability to become successful. You have reviewed and worked through all the steps to execute, but the “what ifs” begin to flood your mind causing doubts. This is how self-sabotage turns from a mustard seed to a mountain of disbelief in your plans.
If you are motivated and strive for opportunity, then I am more than sure that you’ve dealt with self-sabotaging thoughts. We it comes to presenting grandiose ideas to the world, if the idea is of your brain or opportunity, you have more than likely thought to yourself self-sabotaging thoughts. However, there are ways to work through these lies of thoughts but we must first understand what self-sabotaging is.
What is Self-Sabotaging?
Merriam-Webster tells us that the word sabotage is defined as hampering or hurt. Adding the word self into the equation, you are simply hurting or hampering yourself. In this example, we will assume that you want to strive for some sort of achievement. Providing the fact that self-sabotaging is happening to you, you are creating scenarios in your mind to convince yourself that the opportunities you strive for are not attainable. You grow the feeling of not being worthy, or good enough, or projection of failure.
Falling victim to Self-Sabotaging will leave you canceling plans, second-guessing, and even quitting altogether. This is not the desired result so there must be some changes within. So before you dive off of the deep, let’s go over some things that will keep you on track.
How to Overcome Self-Sabotaging
Ideas can be big and overwhelming. This confuses you and makes things difficult to internalize. Though the idea makes be great, the feeling of having such a great idea may mislead you to the thought of you may not be ready to pursue such ideas or that it is too much work for you to handle.
Self-Sabotage may not come in the form of stress, sometime it may make its way into the form of eustress, building you up to be overwhelmed. However, there are some steps you can take that may help you come to your senses and continue with your journey.
Step 1: Identify Your Behavior
The first step to overcoming self-sabotage is to identify the behavior that is causing it. Identify that the negative conversations that are occurring in your mind are self-generated and you need to converse with yourself that the negative assumptions aren’t real. In essence, a negative talk is a form of self-preservation.
Step 2: Understand the Reasons
Once you’ve identified your self-sabotaging behavior, try to understand the underlying reasons behind it. Is it due to fear of failure, lack of self-confidence, or feeling unworthy of success? Because we have the desire to be great, the fear of not achieving such makes the vision cloudy in our minds, causing us to start preventative measures. This produces a “just in case” mindset. This mindset builds a premeditated excuse for when failure occurs. Ignore doing this, you will truly never know until you see the process through.
Step 3: Challenge Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk can be a significant factor in self-sabotage. When you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, challenge it. Ask yourself, “Is this thought helpful? What evidence do I have to support it?” The truth is, there is no evidence to support the negative talk. You must continue your pursuit. This allows you to see what works and what does not. Sometimes we don’t have haters. Sometimes we are our haters and this builds the illusion of a lack of support.
Step 4: Set Realistic Goals
Setting realistic goals can help you avoid self-sabotage. Make sure your goals are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART). Using SMART is a notable acronym that keeps you from overstepping your progressive boundaries. We want to when so bad that, all we see is the finish line instead of the process.
Remember that the finish line is comprised of multiple small victories. It will take time. The problem with this is, we never really know how much time it will take. It is ok to make projections, but if the projections reflect a fast track to success then you will most likely hit failure and burnout. Celebrate the small victories and give yourself grace in the process.
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Step 5: Practice self-compassion
Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion. Remember that everyone makes mistakes and experiences setbacks. When you experience a setback, treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would offer a friend. It is very important to understand that setbacks and failures are and will be a part of the process.
The ideal outcome of a setback or a failure is to learn from the situation and adjust for the better. It is not a matter of if, it is a matter of when that time comes. Acceptance is key to being compassionate. With all things considered, both sunshine and rain are essential to growth.
Step 6: Seek Support
Consider seeking support from a therapist or a trusted friend or family member. They can offer guidance, encouragement, and accountability as you work to overcome self-sabotage. A support system will be one of the most important assets you can have while curating your path to success.
If your dreams are as big as they may seem, then the road to success will be without a doubt tough, but not impossible. It is important to have those that are encouraging around but also trustworthy. Not everyone will understand so it is essential to keep self-sabotaging under control, but trustworthy support will keep you accountable to make sure you do not stray from the rough terrain ahead.
Conclusion
Self-sabotage is a common occurrence for those trying to strive for success. However, for those people, there is a choice that needs to be made. Because your dreams are big and life-changing, it is expected that your road to success will be a challenging one. Following the steps above may help stop the confusion in your head about whether or not you a worthy. You are the determining factor that stands in the way of accomplishing your goals. You must identify your behavior and challenge yourself to make on the other side of your goals. If you decide to quit before the duration of your process, you will never know how far you could succeed. So, win, lose, or draw and continue your journey. Your dreams are measured according to your efforts. Lastly, remember that nothing works, unless you do! Bless.
