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What is Self-Talk?

Self-talk is talk or thoughts directed at oneself. This may also be known as the inner-voice or inner-dialog.  If you remember Pinocchio, he had Jiminy Cricket who introduced himself as his conscience. Self-Talk would be Jiminy. A lot of times people do not even realize that they are doing this until it is pointed out to them.

For some, they may find this voice starting as soon as they wake up and may even have trouble shutting this voice off at night when they are trying to go to sleep. Discussing all the things they may need to do the next day or providing them with doubts. But what can self-talk be used for?

Self-talk can be utilized to manage different life experiences. This is especially true for traumatic events. It can be helpful when in the process of decision making. Lastly, to ensure that an individual is asking the right questions prior to asking them out loud.

Self-Talk is an important aspect of one’s life. It can positively or negatively impact how someone goes through life. It can be used as a motivator or a source of support. However, it can also be a dissuasion on how someone processes incidents and negatively influence their confidence.

What is Negative Self-Talk (NST)?

Negative Self-Talk is when the inner voice is focused on the bad things. It is being overly critical or judgmental of oneself.  To put it simply, self-doubt.

Like previously stated, NST can lower a person’s self-confidence or be a detriment to their mental well-being. If allowed, NST can stop someone from reaching their full potential. This usually happens because someone allows the NST win, and they give themselves a glass-ceiling. Giving themselves a glass-ceiling is when they put this imaginary ceiling on their potential. In a lot of cases, NST can stop a person from achieving a goal before they even start reaching for it. This happens, due to doubting of their abilities to do it. Which will cause them to fail before they even start due to those insecurities.

An example of NST would be, “Why waste my time applying for this when I know I am not good enough for this?” Then when they submit the application, they didn’t put all their true strengths and qualities on their application because of NST which stopped them from even achieving the goal before it began.

What are the Impacts that Self-Talk Can Have on your Mental Well-being?

Like already discussed, Self-Talk can affect your self-esteem, your confidence levels and your overall mental health, Because of all these things it can impact the relationship you have with others in the process.

If you find yourself most of your time in the NST realm, this can start to cause depression. If you are already in a depression, the NST will only further bring you down. Aside from depression, it can increase stress and anxiety levels.

If an individual is dealing with any health issues or injuries while also having NST it can also become an overwhelming experience. An example of this is when women deal with issues such as hysterectomies or C-sections during childbirth and now because of their scars the NST can cause them to develop body image issues.

What are the Benefits of Positive Self-Talk?

If you think positively about yourself, then you will feel good. When you go from negatively talking to yourself to positively self-talking, you will see an increase in your self-esteem and overall well-being.

There will be a reduction in things such as stress, depression, and anxiety. There will be no glass ceiling to stop you from reaching your goals.

Positive self-talk impacts how you feel especially about yourself. When we feel better, then we do better. When we feel better, then we smile more, and smiles are contagious.

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Combatting Negative Self-Talk with the Three C’s

So, what are the Three C’s? The Three C’s are catch, check it (against reality), and change it. You begin by applying the C’s to your negative self-talk. An example of this would be, If I am in the middle of washing dishes and I instantly realize that I forgot to pick up my daughter’s shirt from school and I say to myself wow you are a terrible mother.

Catch it: What is making me feel this way – Because I forgot her shirt, that I am a terrible mother

Check it: Is this true? How is this going to help me by feeling this way – It makes me feel like a bad person and is not true so what is the point of feeling this way?

Change it: What is something that is true and can be helpful in this moment? – Everyone makes mistakes, and I can pick it up another day. It is not the end of the world.

So, now I know I just forgot, it is not a big deal, and I can pick it up another day. Forgetting to pick up a shirt does not make me a bad mother.

We must be able to stop the thought in the process, check it against reality to prove it is not true or helpful to have that thought and change our perspective.

Other Tips for Stopping Negative Self-Talk

The first way to begin the change is like previously discussed, the Three C’s. Also, identifying when the negative thinking is happening. This can happen more often when you hit a roadblock or a challenge.

Write down some of the negative things you say to yourself. Then find a more positive way to say this thought to yourself. An example of this would be, “My life is terrible.” Change that to, “I am blessed. My life could be worst but at least I woke up today.”

Another tip is that I have practiced myself is, I challenged myself to say positive affirmations to myself for 30 days. To further hold myself accountable for this, I posted my challenge on social media. I would ensure that the first thing I did every morning was think of my positive thought or attribute of myself and post it. I wouldn’t read anything on social media or scroll. I would only post this before I started my day.

Lastly, surround yourself with positive people. People that will motivate you and hype you up. People that will not tell you what you want to hear but what you need to hear.

When is seeking help necessary?

Once the NST begins to impact your mental health, then it may be time to seek the help of a medical provider. Especially, if the NST becomes overwhelming or too much. If it is only occasional then using tips such as the ones discussed above may be helpful.

Conclusion

Self-Talk is that inner dialogue that a person has within. Their Jiminy. When it is positive Self-Talk, it can be motivational and be what a person needs to push through a challenging or difficult time. It may be what they need to get over that hill.

Using positive words of affirmation can be a tool to further drive positivity and get past the NST that may be lowering your confidence or self-esteem. The biggest thing to remember is if you are struggling with constant negative thoughts, you may need the help of a provider. Never be afraid to say that you are not okay and to seek the help of a professional. It is not a sign of weakness but a sign of being human.